I turn 50 in November. Weird milestone honestly. When I was 20 I thought 50 was old (like all 20-year-olds), but now that I am that age I sort of feel 20 (more than I did when I was 40) and don't see that many differences in the 30-year age gap. I am thankful of course for the life experience, wisdom, and maturity I have developed, but more than ever I know and feel age is irrelevant. (Well, except in running and sports! I was fast when I was 20 and now not so much--haha.)
All that to say I am immensely thankful to have been exposed to 50 years of music. Of course it extends beyond that, as I enjoy music that was written and recorded before my birth. But my passion for music is the greatest it has ever been. I heard Dan Haseltine once ask in an interview, "What if the Holy Spirit is music?" Whether you are a Christian or not you may find that question silly, stupid, ridiculous, or blasphemous, but it has stuck with me. I feel joy, peace, excitement, sadness, beauty--God--through music daily.
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| Thursday at Barnstormers Pizza, Montevallo, Alabama, June 13, 2001. Photo by me. |
Over the course of the next couple months I am going to be sharing four "top-50" lists and playlists for a total of 200 different songs:
- My all-time favorite songs, #100 down to 51 (sharing today in September)
- My top 50 albums of all time (will share in October)
- My all-time favorite songs, 50 down to #1 (will share on my birthday in November)
- My top 50 Christmas songs (will share in December)
I'll be primarily sharing these playlists through Apple Music. I have experimented with different apps and websites that convert playlists from one provider to another (Sp*tify, Amazon Music, Tidal, etc.) but have yet to decide whether or not I'll do the converting or just point you the reader towards it. The downside of converting is that it is inevitable that the playlists will be incomplete as no service libraries are identical.
That moves me to my next point--these are my favorite songs that are IN Apple Music. Tons of good music is not streaming on the most popular sites (a lot of it is on Bandcamp, and as much as I love Bandcamp, the playlist ordeal is not worth it). Most of Tess Wiley's catalog is not streaming on the major sites, along with practically no Vigilantes of Love, no Hoi Polloi (NZ), and no Zwan. That is just to name a few artists who are missing from these 200 songs.
My personal playlist rules and guidelines:
- Has to be on Apple Music (argh). While a limitation, my research has shown that Apple Music's catalog, especially of non-US music, is significantly greater than the other major streaming services. For example, a lot of European music I like is on Apple Music and is not in the other services.
- Only one song per artist in the top 100 songs (however, the same artist could have a song in the top 100, be a part of the top 50 albums, and have a Christmas song in that upcoming playlist)
- I have to LOVE it. If it doesn't get me immensely excited, it's not on the list(s)
So here is playlist #1: My favorite songs of all time, numbers 100 down to number 51:
- Apple Music (playlist created here with all 50 songs)
- Sp*tify (Transferred using Soundiiz; missing one song)
- Amazon Music (Transferred using Soundiiz; missing three songs)
- Tidal (Transferred using Soundiiz; missing two songs)
100. Amy Grant- "Lead Me On" from the album Lead Me On (1988)
Amy Grant was one of my first favorite artists, along with Michael W. Smith. Prior to Amy Grant I was pretty much only listening to my parents music, or what I heard on the radio during swimming carpools. My enjoyment of MWS ended decades ago, but I have always loved Amy Grant and her new 2026 album is great. One of my earliest mixtapes (made in 1989?) was only Amy Grant and MWS songs. Reviewing the lyrics, I definitely didn't realize how intense this song is when I enjoyed it as a child:
"Man hurts man
Time and time, time again
And we drown in the wake of our power
Somebody tell me why...
Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs"
99. The Connells- "Stone Cold Yesterday" from the album One Simple Word (1990)
Speaking of mixtapes, the first one ever made for me by a girl I liked had this song on it. I can thank Maren for introducing me to the Connells, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and deepening my love for R.E.M. (and for bonding over hatred for Dave Matthews Band when all of our peers loved them in 1995). I didn't hear a full Connells album though until college and Mike chose One Simple Word when it was his turn to play a CD during drawing class (my turn was Poor Old Lu's Sin). I became a huge Connells fan and saw them play a few times in Birmingham and Chattanooga in the late 90's.
"And I walked, and I breathed, and I tried to not let it change me.
Don't it make you wonder, man?"
98. Phoebe Bridgers - "Chinese Satellite" from the album Punisher (2020)
Picking my favorite Phoebe Bridgers song is nearly impossible, but this one stands out lyrically. Her new album just dropped and I have been listening to it non-stop, but for now no song on it surpasses this.
"You were screamin' at the Evangelicals
They were screamin' right back from what I remember"
Same, Phoebe!
Found an amazing essay on this song just now while writing this post: Chinese Satellite by Vivian Xie. I don't agree with her, but I appreciate the questions she is asking.
97. Rage Against The Machine- "Sleep Now In the Fire" from the album The Battle Of Los Angeles (1999)
I was fortunate to teach a high school graphic design class a few years ago that I designed called "The Colour and the Shapes". The class used album art examples, mostly from the 90's, to teach the fundamentals of graphic design (thanks to Foo Fighters for the name of the class, but that wasn't one of the albums). One of the class sessions was entirely about The Battle of Los Angeles, the paintings of The Phantom Street Artist, and the importance of protest music.
"So raise your fists and march around
Just don't take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed"
96. Of Monsters and Men- "Fruit Bat" from the album All is Love and Pain in the Mouse Parade (2025)
Picking new songs to go along side older songs on a ranked list is a ridiculous process. "Fruit Bat" is stunning and this live performance of it explains much better than my words can. There is a certain category of songs that I love that are simply immersive experiences and hard to describe--it is just the way the song feels.
"I know something you don't know
Somehow in the dead of night, we're like bunny and the reptile
I need something you don't seem to need
Sweeter goodbye, I'm like a fruit bat hangin' tight"
95. Toad The Wet Sprocket -"Fly From Heaven" from the album Dulcinea (1994)
Sad story: When Toad the Wet Sprocket toured in 1997, I bought two tickets to their show in December at 328 Performance Hall in Nashville. I asked two different girls to the show, and both said no! I think one of them legitimately could not go, but I was surprised on the other. It took a ton of boldness for me to ask--one was a conversation in the Samford library and the other was a phone call; I had very little dating experience. Thankfully I didn't "like" either girl. But still. Anyway, I ended up giving the second ticket away to some dude on the street before the show. The only time I ever saw Toad, who I still like, and who is still recording good music. Back to this song; wow, the theological implications are wild. Had I known what it was saying back in the 90's I am sure I would have refused to listen to it as blasphemy. But I really appreciate the questions it poses now.
"Will it be the end
Or is he still ascending
But if he's all you say
Would he fly from heaven
To this world again"
94. The Jealous Sound- "Anxious Arms" from the album Kill Them With Kindness (2003)
I totally missed out on Knapsack as I was too busy listening to only Christian rock at that time, but I did somehow discover The Jealous Sound with their 2000 debut EP. This song actually appeared on that EP, but then was re-recorded for for the LP a couple years later. This song makes me think of driving my truck around in Zambia. I ordered the CD online and some volunteer team brought it over in a suitcase for me. This song is essentially the model framework for my favorite kind of rock song.
"They're waiting for clouds and storms
And for safety
And I said, 'I will.'
I ask you, 'Please, lie still.'
Your faith means everything"
93. Haim- "Los Angeles" from the album Women in Music Pt. III (2020)
A frequent point of conversation in my home is how I hate saxophone. I don't actually hate saxophone, as it is perfect in this song. But broadly yeah most songs would be better without it. Haha. I have mixed feelings about Haim. Sometimes I love them, like this song, but other times I just feel they are trying to hard to be provocative.
"New York is cold, I tried the winter there once--nope."
"New York is cold, I tried the winter there once--nope."
92. Sleigh Bells- "Baptism By Fire" from the album Jessica Rabbit (2016)
Sleigh Bells is amazing live. For most of my 15+ year history I had never seen them, but then got to see two shows of theirs in Detroit in a two-year span and it was some of the most fun I have ever had experiencing live music. Most Sleigh Bells songs I like because of the feeling of the music, but I love the lyrics on this one: "When you love something so much
Almost nothing can't go wrongYou better take my advice while I'm calm still
When your dream is made of everything you're afraid of"
91. Stretch Arm Strong- "Second Chances" from the album Compassion Fills the Void (1998)
Had things diverged a little when I was a teen, I can see a world where I would have listened to almost entirely hardcore. The tenets of the genre--DIY, anti-establishment, and a tight-knit community--are values I have leaned more and more. Stretch Arm Strong somewhat introduced me to the hardcore genre when I saw them open for Zao and Stavesacre in Nashville in 1999; I was there for the other two bands, but Stretch showed them up. Of my two newer Furnace Fest experiences in 2021 and 2022, the hardcore community could be experienced and felt deeply--it was a powerful and formative time. And while I mostly saw sets for bands I already knew and loved (like Stretch) the newer bands I discovered were mostly of the hardcore genre.
"Fear comes today (What about tomorrow?)
Conformity (I'll never swallow)
The world today (Full of pain and sorrow)
Apathy (I'll never follow)"
90. Sarah Jaffe- "Summer Begs" from the album Suburban Nature (2010)
When I hear this song I think of summer in Rome, Georgia, where we lived at the time. It was a special season with two toddlers at home. I wasn't consuming as much new music at the time, and this album resonated with me deeply. It's simple, quiet, and beautiful.
"Somewhere someone's sleeping
Somewhere someone's weeping
Somewhere someone's listening
To the sound of a record spinning"
89. Katie Malco- "Brooklyn" from the album Failures (2020)
This song is so sad and beautiful. Seeing Katie play it at the Sanctuary in Detroit will permanently be etched in my memory. Having lived across the Atlantic from close friends for many years of my life it resonates deeply without it feels to miss someone.
"I see you fading and I live across an ocean
I talked you out of staying but I don’t know when you’ll come back
You said don’t worry you don’t need anybody
You’re living out your dreams in New York"
88. Hem- "Not California" from the album Funnel Cloud (2006)
The year Funnel Cloud was released my wife and I worked the merch table for Hem and Over the Rhine at their show at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta. We did that because of our connection to and love for Over the Rhine, and the show was our introduction to Hem. The shift from the third chorus to the outro is stunning and gives me chills every time:
"And I'm not strong
And you're not rich
And we're not lost
Where we don't live
And it's not true
And it's not fair
And they're not us
And it's not California here
I'm the one who wants to be with you tonight"
87. Headlights- "Put Us Back Together Right" from the album Kill Them With Kindness (2006)
Another song that represents my ideal example of an indie rock song. Headlights formed when Absinthe Blind broke up, and they share many members. While I liked Absinthe Blind, I LOVED Headlights. I saw them open for Mates of State in 2008 and at one point the whole Headlights band joined Mates of State on stage for a song.
"I've forgotten to check all of the things
"I've forgotten to check all of the things
That somehow now I don't seem to need"
86. The Flaming Lips- "Do You Realize??" from the album Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots (2002)
I have always wanted to like the Flaming Lips more than I do, but I'll be honest, much of their music is too weird for even me. I highly recommend the Sam Anderson book, Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World-class Metropolis. Mostly about the Thunder and the history of Oklahoma, but Wayne Coyne is a central character and it gave me so much more context and understanding of his band. "Do You Realize?" is the closest the Flaming Lips ever got to mainstream pop song, and it's gorgeous. But only the Flaming Lips could include the line "Do you realize everyone you know someday will die" in a love song.
I have always wanted to like the Flaming Lips more than I do, but I'll be honest, much of their music is too weird for even me. I highly recommend the Sam Anderson book, Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World-class Metropolis. Mostly about the Thunder and the history of Oklahoma, but Wayne Coyne is a central character and it gave me so much more context and understanding of his band. "Do You Realize?" is the closest the Flaming Lips ever got to mainstream pop song, and it's gorgeous. But only the Flaming Lips could include the line "Do you realize everyone you know someday will die" in a love song.
85. Dakoda Motor Co.- "Ocean Seems" from the album Into The Son (1993)
Dakoda Motor Co. was my first favorite band and I feel so fortunate to find them when I did-- as I was trying to find more original and interesting rock music in the middle of CCM and Christian Metal muck. They overall sadly haven't aged well (why is there an American flag on the cover of this album?!), and I rarely listen to them more than a song or two at a time. They did put on a terrific show though when I saw them in 2018; and that was important as Davia Vallesillo returned to vocals after the tragedy of my experience seeing them with Melissa Brewer in 1995. No offense to Melissa, she did a good job, but this was pre-internet, and when you show up at a concert expecting to see and hear Davia, it was a radical let down. In the 90's "Ocean Seems" perhaps wasn't even in my top 10 Dakoda songs, but it grew on me and I now love everything about it, especially the harmonies:
Dakoda Motor Co. was my first favorite band and I feel so fortunate to find them when I did-- as I was trying to find more original and interesting rock music in the middle of CCM and Christian Metal muck. They overall sadly haven't aged well (why is there an American flag on the cover of this album?!), and I rarely listen to them more than a song or two at a time. They did put on a terrific show though when I saw them in 2018; and that was important as Davia Vallesillo returned to vocals after the tragedy of my experience seeing them with Melissa Brewer in 1995. No offense to Melissa, she did a good job, but this was pre-internet, and when you show up at a concert expecting to see and hear Davia, it was a radical let down. In the 90's "Ocean Seems" perhaps wasn't even in my top 10 Dakoda songs, but it grew on me and I now love everything about it, especially the harmonies:
"The ocean seems the deepest blue
The sky's forever between me and You
There's so much life that I can't see now
But I want to taste it all somehow"
84. The 77's- "Alone Together" from the album Drowning With Land In Sight (1994)
Another band where picking my favorite song is nearly impossible. But "Alone Together" has always stood out, as this was the first 77s album I really got into--and maybe the first one I bought. It is kind of funny to pick a piano and percussion driven song from Michael Roe, who is one of the greatest guitar players of our time. When I was young I thought it was a simple love song, but of course it is actually tragic and about the end of a relationship. The highlight is the bridge:
"What could I do, my love?
Was it all up to me, yeah?
Or was it all up to you, my love?
I always knew, my love
It was neither one"
83. Beloved- "Failure On My Lips" from the album Failure On (2003)
Five years ago this song went from a song I liked to one I loved through one of the most powerful live show moments I have ever experienced (which thankfully I got on video and there are literally a dozen great videos of the song from that same night). If you are unaware, Beloved reuniting to play Furnace Fest in 2021 (that got delayed from 2020) was one of the central reasons Furnace Fest resumed. It is sad to write about Furnace Fest now considering what it has become in 2026, but the OG Furnace Fest, and the fest in 2021 and 2022 were some of the most important experiences of my life--musically, socially, spiritually.
"This goes far beyond our loyalties
And we feign as a shield
That's teeming with guilt and resonance
But we held our heads so high
We have not yet defeated failure"
82. The Avett Brothers- "No Hard Feelings" from the album True Sadness (2016)
It's hard to write about a song that is probably hundreds or thousands of people's favorite song of all time. Lyrically it really doesn't get any better than this. I discovered the Avett Brothers I think with Emotionalism in 2007 and then became a much bigger fan with I and Love and You in 2009. Then I sort of lost track of them for awhile before rediscovering them with 2016's True Sadness. As I have written about before, not only was that my #1 album of 2016, 2016 was also the year I understood for the first time what it even felt like to be honestly sad.
It's hard to write about a song that is probably hundreds or thousands of people's favorite song of all time. Lyrically it really doesn't get any better than this. I discovered the Avett Brothers I think with Emotionalism in 2007 and then became a much bigger fan with I and Love and You in 2009. Then I sort of lost track of them for awhile before rediscovering them with 2016's True Sadness. As I have written about before, not only was that my #1 album of 2016, 2016 was also the year I understood for the first time what it even felt like to be honestly sad.
"Under the curving sky
I'm finally learning why
It matters for me and you
To say it and mean it too
For life and its loveliness
And all of its ugliness
Good as it's been to me
I have no enemies"
81. Over The Rhine- "Latter Days" from the album Good Dog, Bad Dog (1996)
As I am writing about these songs (18 down, 82 to go) a clear theme is the live experience of the music. There are certain songs that I am not sure I would appreciate (or at least nearly as much) if I had not experienced them at a show. Whether it be after decades (see Beloved above), or after repeated live experiences (Brandtson comes to mind in the next playlist), or in the case of Over the Rhine, it was the first listen.
I had only heard one Over the Rhine song before 1997, which was "I'm Happy With Myself" and not at all an indicator for what Over the Rhine would be, or was, in 1997. When I went to Cornerstone for the first time in 1997, one of the shows at the top of my list was Adam Again. At the time they still had folding chairs and seats in one of the Encore tents, so I got there early to grab a good seat and just planned to stay put throughout the night. Well, Over the Rhine was opening for Adam Again and nothing could prepare me. Over the Rhine played mostly songs off Good Dog Bad Dog, and not only that, they would play another longer set later in the fest. Over the Rhine definitely my Cornerstone '97 experience, and this is the song that takes me back, especially because I was so utterly unprepared for it:
I had only heard one Over the Rhine song before 1997, which was "I'm Happy With Myself" and not at all an indicator for what Over the Rhine would be, or was, in 1997. When I went to Cornerstone for the first time in 1997, one of the shows at the top of my list was Adam Again. At the time they still had folding chairs and seats in one of the Encore tents, so I got there early to grab a good seat and just planned to stay put throughout the night. Well, Over the Rhine was opening for Adam Again and nothing could prepare me. Over the Rhine played mostly songs off Good Dog Bad Dog, and not only that, they would play another longer set later in the fest. Over the Rhine definitely my Cornerstone '97 experience, and this is the song that takes me back, especially because I was so utterly unprepared for it:
"What a beautiful piece of heartache
This has all turned out to be
Lord knows we've learned the hard way
All about healthy apathy
I use these words pretty loosely
There's so much more to life than words"
80. Letters To Cleo- "Here & Now" from the album Aurora Gory Alice (1994)
While I listened to primarily Christian underground music in high school, I did listen to mainstream alternative radio, most specifically Nashville's Thunder 94. This song makes me think about driving on the backroads in Franklin and Brentwood, TN, without a care in the world. It got my hyped and still does:
"And it might be
The comfort of a knowledge of a rise above the sky
But could never parallel the challenge of an acquisition in the
Here and now, here and now"
79. Adam Again- "River On Fire" from the album Dig (1992)
Not many songs in my top 100 about actual, historical events, but this is sort of one of them. A sad, tragic, beautiful song about the end of a marriage. Also heard this song at Cornerstone 1997, and wildly, just found a video of it.
Not many songs in my top 100 about actual, historical events, but this is sort of one of them. A sad, tragic, beautiful song about the end of a marriage. Also heard this song at Cornerstone 1997, and wildly, just found a video of it.
"And I could be happy, and you could be miserable
I'll grab a metaphor
Out of the air
The Cuyahoga River on fire"
78. Arcade Fire- "City With No Children" from the album The Suburbs (2010)
One of my favorite ways to experience music, if not at a show, is at home with the record on the turntable and the lyrics and liner notes in hand. That is harder and harder to do, but somehow my wife and I, when we had two kids under the age of 2 found time one evening the week The Suburbs was released to listen to it in full holding the record album art and lyrics. I love these lines and they were actually once my email signature:
"You never trust a millionaire
Quoting the Sermon on the Mount
I used to think I was not like them
But I’m beginning to have my doubts, my doubts about it"
77. Brown Feather Sparrow "A Box Of Spring" from the album Wide Awakens Everything (2003)
Honestly, I like this song because it starts quiet and gets heavy. And it is the only Brown Feather Sparrow that is heavy, ha. I LOVE all Brown Feather Sparrow, and Lydia van Maurik-Wever is one of the best songwriters ever with a gorgeous voice that no one knows. I guess perhaps she is decently well-known in her home country of the Netherlands, but I find it so sad that she never gained a larger audience.
"Come and sing your crazy songs
"Come and sing your crazy songs
Let me sing along
Lift me high above your pose
Swing me ‘round the world"
76. Built To Spill- "The Plan" from the album Keep It Like A Secret (1999)
The first 10 seconds of this song are killer; how many songs can be summed up in their first 10 seconds? So much energy and what a build. Doug Martsch has such rich guitar tones and I am still so sad I have never seen Built to Spill live.
The first 10 seconds of this song are killer; how many songs can be summed up in their first 10 seconds? So much energy and what a build. Doug Martsch has such rich guitar tones and I am still so sad I have never seen Built to Spill live.
"The plan keeps coming up again
And the plan means nothing stays the same
But the plan won't accomplish anything
If it's not implemented"
75. Camera Obscura- "Swans" from the album My Maudlin Career (2009)
When my kids were little and we lived in Rome, Georgia (USA), we visited the Coosa Valley Fair and I made a video of the experience and put it to music--this is the song I used. With that said, my entire family associates this song with that experience. Even just now while writing this my wife overheard my speakers and said, "Are you watching old videos?" I can't help but think this song sounds like being at a fair; and I am sure that is why I picked it at the time.
"Maybe you should travel with me
Is this the best idea
Because you've never seen a Redwood
And you've never touched a deer"
74. Cat Power- "Where Is My Love" from the album The Greatest (2006)
Simple and direct song, simply romantic. My wife and I have loved it equally and have listened throughout our marriage. And then finally a couple months ago we saw Cat Power play live and perform this song:
"Where is my love?
Where is my love?
Safe and warm
So close to me
In my arms finally"
73. Evanescence- "My Immortal" from the album Origin (2000)
It is WILD that this song ended up in the 2003 Daredevil film, the year that Evanescence became, briefly, the most popular band in the world. I don't say that lightly, as I traveled in a dozen countries in 2003 and posters for Fallen were EVERYWHERE. It is a powerful song about death, so it fit the scene in the film. But what's important to state here is that this song was released in the year 2000, not three years later.
My quick diatribe: As someone who became an Evanescence fan in 1998, it is silly and irritating that there is so much modern wiki language calling 2000's Origin merely a “demo.” When it was released in 2000, Origin was Evanescence’s true debut album; a finished, full-length record radically different and better than the rough EPs that came before it. More importantly, it captured the magic of Amy Lee and Ben Moody working together as equal creative partners. Their contrasting musical instincts complemented each other in a way that made early Evanescence extraordinary, and IMO the band ever fully recaptured that chemistry after Moody left. It is also ridiculous that Moody has also been rewritten out of the band's history as simply a "former guitar player", when Evanescence was Moody + Lee.
It is WILD that this song ended up in the 2003 Daredevil film, the year that Evanescence became, briefly, the most popular band in the world. I don't say that lightly, as I traveled in a dozen countries in 2003 and posters for Fallen were EVERYWHERE. It is a powerful song about death, so it fit the scene in the film. But what's important to state here is that this song was released in the year 2000, not three years later.
My quick diatribe: As someone who became an Evanescence fan in 1998, it is silly and irritating that there is so much modern wiki language calling 2000's Origin merely a “demo.” When it was released in 2000, Origin was Evanescence’s true debut album; a finished, full-length record radically different and better than the rough EPs that came before it. More importantly, it captured the magic of Amy Lee and Ben Moody working together as equal creative partners. Their contrasting musical instincts complemented each other in a way that made early Evanescence extraordinary, and IMO the band ever fully recaptured that chemistry after Moody left. It is also ridiculous that Moody has also been rewritten out of the band's history as simply a "former guitar player", when Evanescence was Moody + Lee.
"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me"
72. Explosions In The Sky- "Your Hand In Mine" from the album The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place (2003)
This is the only instrumental song in my top 100. I do listen to a lot of post-rock, most notably Mogwai and Explosions in the Sky, but I am a sucker for lyrics and vocals. As I listen to this song in the background I am reflecting on how little classical or orchestral music I listen to. While I find it impressive and essential, there is little to no emotional connection. Interesting how we are all wired differently; and somehow my brain responds to guitars, bass, and drums. I find that especially interesting as rock music didn't really enter my life until I was a teen. Probably more so than most music, post-rock is SO MUCH BETTER LIVE. I saw Explosions in the Sky in 2007, and Mogwai last year, and both are some of the most memorable and intense shows I have ever attended. Since I can't quote lyrics for this one, I'll just say the climax of this song when the guitar riff kicks in at the 6-minute mark, gives me all the feels.
71. Fleming & John- "I'm Not Afraid" from the album Delusions of Grandeur (1995)
First of all, there are actually three recordings of this song, all happening within the first year of it's release. The original recording had an opening guitar riff that someone felt was too similar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and can be found on the "Can You Dig It? III" comp. Then the second version ended up on the R.E.X. Records original release of the album in 1995. And then the third and final version, that you'll find on this playlist, was modified a little most notably with chimes/bells in the feedback around the 2:00 mark for the 1996 major-label release.
Secondly, this was one of the earliest songs I loved that originated in the Christian underground (and I literally saw F&J play in a basement in 1995) to mainstream rock radio (X stations) in 1996 (and I later saw F&J at a huge outdoor festival in 1997). In early 1995 I wrote out all the lyrics of the song from memory on a chalkboard in a youth room in my church:
"I'm afraid of growing old
"I'm afraid of growing old
I'm afraid of staying young and running out of fun
I'm afraid of photographs of mom and dad when they were young"
70. Freelance Whales- "Hannah" from the album Weathervanes (2010)
I discovered TODAY that this song references a film: "Hannah Takes The Stairs", starring Greta Gerwig (2007). But my initial comments here are before watching it as I am a little shocked at the reference. There is nothing complicated about this song necessarily; I just feel it perfectly represents an era of indie rock that I love. The vocals, the mandolin, the banjo, the layers. It's simple in a way, but it makes me feel things that are impossible to put into words.
"And if you're partial to the night sky
If you're vaguely attracted to rooftops
Hannah takes the stairs 'cause she can't tell
That it's a winding spiral case
Is she right side up, or upside down?"
69. The Juliana Theory- "Into The Dark" from the album Emotion Is Dead (2000)
For 35 years I have been on a dead-end mission to share "my" music with friends in the hope that they will like it. I say "dead-end", as most of the time, people's response is generally indifference. But that's not totally true, as there are rare occurrences of others getting it, and truly enjoying the tunes I am sharing. Emotion is Dead was one of those exceptions. It hit at the right time of the intersection of mainstream radio rock and Christian underground rock, and the songs were just so poppy and catchy. My friends on my college track team enjoyed this album so much one of my memories of listening to it was on a CD player on the pool deck while we were aqua jogging.
"In your eyes, I see a darkness that torments you
And in your head where it dwells
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it
Let's walk away from this hell"
In your eyes, I see a darkness that torments you
And in your head where it dwells
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it
Let's walk away from this hell
68. K's Choice- "Always Everywhere" from the album Almost Happy (2000)
I love the way this song builds for the first three minutes and the guitars that kick in at the 3-minute mark are absolutely exhilarating. Then the song gets really quiet again at the end and completely beautiful.
"So much has changed and been rearranged
And I see that I've lost
What made me so sure that I could endure
How hard it is to lose and lose and lose and live again
And never understand
You are always everywhere
You are always everywhere
You're always there"
67. L.S.U.- "Blame" from the album Grace Shaker (1994)
A wild amount of Mike Knott songs to choose from, and I went with one that is beautiful and encouraging (rather than provocative, ha!). The intersection of the piano, acoustic guitar, and cello is so beautiful as he sings:
"So if your mind hurts form this sound
and you can't see beyond this wall
forget that heavy load right now
I'll be the one who'll take the fall"
66. Pearl Jam- "Nothingman" from the album Vitalogy (1994)
Placing popular, mainstream songs among my all-time favs, which are mostly indie tracks, was by far the biggest challenge of creating this list. I love this song, but where does it rank? No clue. But today it's here. It took me way to long to truly discover Pearl Jam with full album listens. Whenever I listened to rock radio in the 90's I enjoyed just about every Pearl Jam song I heard, but I don't believe I heard a Pearl Jam album all the way through until the late 90s. All that to say, I have no idea where or where I first heard "Nothingman" but it kind of stops me in my tracks every time I listen:"Once divided, nothing left to subtract
Some words when spoken can't be taken back
Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinkin'
Future's above, but in the past he's slow and sinkin'"
65. Lovedrug-"Down Towards The Healing" from the album Pretend You're Alive (2004)
One of my most-read essays is about this band: Why do I like a band’s decade-old album better than their new one? OR Why is a raw, 16-year-old EP better than a slick, refined LP released last month from the same musician? OR Why do I like Kerith Ravine more than Lovedrug? I still have those questions about Lovedrug and lots of music. ;)
I've always wondered and not understood what this song is about. I so appreciate Michael Shepard's descriptive language and use of visual metaphors though, and it makes his music vivid and powerful. This song is actually a reminder that it is not important to know what a song is about--the mystery makes it more beautiful.
"If I run
I've always wondered and not understood what this song is about. I so appreciate Michael Shepard's descriptive language and use of visual metaphors though, and it makes his music vivid and powerful. This song is actually a reminder that it is not important to know what a song is about--the mystery makes it more beautiful.
"If I run
I'll just become like all the faking lights
So let the thunders take me under and break my legs tonight
Hallelujah, I'm not breathing"
64. Thursday- "Paris In Flames" from the album Full Collapse (2001)
I jammed this album at full volume when it was first released, driving up and down Columbiana Road in Birmingham, Alabama in my 1995 Mazda 626; and often, when listening to it, it takes me back to that time and place. I was fortunate enough to see Thursday play twice the summer of 2001; the first time at Barnstormers Pizza in Montevallo on June 13, and then again only a few months later at The Nick in Birmingham on September 2. Knowing how big they would eventually get, it was wild to see them in hole-in-the-wall type places; photos I took here.
"We all sing the songs of separation
And we watch our lives bleed out through our hands
That's how it was on the first day
When we saw Paris in flames"
63. Pinback- "Victorious D"from the album Some Offcell Voices (2017)
I feel like I am using the word "love" too much. Am I? Probably, sorry. But I am writing about my favorite songs and I love them! With that out of the way, I love songs that mention angels. I didn't pick "Angels" by Amy Grant, but I could have. But this is the second song in the last three (Lovedrug) that mentions angels. Despite that, I have no idea what this song is about; Pinback is simply bad-ass.
I feel like I am using the word "love" too much. Am I? Probably, sorry. But I am writing about my favorite songs and I love them! With that out of the way, I love songs that mention angels. I didn't pick "Angels" by Amy Grant, but I could have. But this is the second song in the last three (Lovedrug) that mentions angels. Despite that, I have no idea what this song is about; Pinback is simply bad-ass.
Angels suffering
Angels fall from light
Angels sickening
Angels suffer
(OK, so I searched "Victorious D" meaning, and apparently it is about Darth Vader! Oh my. I can't unsee it now. Thankfully I like Star Wars, but if you don't, I probably just ruined the song for you.)
(OK, so I searched "Victorious D" meaning, and apparently it is about Darth Vader! Oh my. I can't unsee it now. Thankfully I like Star Wars, but if you don't, I probably just ruined the song for you.)
62. Sleeping at Last- "Umbrellas" from the album Keep No Score (2006)
I skipped writing about this song when I first got to it a couple days ago because it makes me emotional and at the time I wasn't ready to feel those things. When this album was released it was the bridge between Sleeping at Last's rock band past and what would become Ryan's solo career with orchestral instrumentation. I did not yet have children in 2006, and thus did not connect to it too deeply. But then in 2010 I used this song to accompany a video I made of my cross country team. By that point two of my children had been born, and I had a deep connection with most of the kids on my team.
"You were meant for amazing things"
I skipped writing about this song when I first got to it a couple days ago because it makes me emotional and at the time I wasn't ready to feel those things. When this album was released it was the bridge between Sleeping at Last's rock band past and what would become Ryan's solo career with orchestral instrumentation. I did not yet have children in 2006, and thus did not connect to it too deeply. But then in 2010 I used this song to accompany a video I made of my cross country team. By that point two of my children had been born, and I had a deep connection with most of the kids on my team.
"You were meant for amazing things"
61. This Beautiful Mess- "All the Leaves Fly for Us" from the EP Second Mountain Songs (2021)
Most of my music journalism over the years has simply been writing about music. But then occasionally I do interviews, and one of the most important and enjoyable ones I have ever done was with Arjen and Lydia from This Beautiful Mess in 2020. During that interview Arjen flipped it over, and asked ME what I thought this song meant. You can read my response at the time in that link about this line:"We need new memories instead of near-certainties..."
60. Laura Stevenson- "Moving Cars" from the album Laura Stevenson (2021)
I always feel like I discovered Laura Stevenson so late. The first album of hers I heard was The Big Freeze in 2019, a decade-plus into her career. Then her self-titled album dropped a couple years later and became one of my top albums of 2021. My kids commented on how the cover of the record looked nearly identical to our living room at the time with the hardwood floors, rug, blue couch, piano, and IKEA Kallax record shelves.
Despite my love for rock music, sometimes it is just a voice and acoustic guitar that has the most impact. This song, like so many of hers, is devastatingly sad. But also hopeful:
I always feel like I discovered Laura Stevenson so late. The first album of hers I heard was The Big Freeze in 2019, a decade-plus into her career. Then her self-titled album dropped a couple years later and became one of my top albums of 2021. My kids commented on how the cover of the record looked nearly identical to our living room at the time with the hardwood floors, rug, blue couch, piano, and IKEA Kallax record shelves.
Despite my love for rock music, sometimes it is just a voice and acoustic guitar that has the most impact. This song, like so many of hers, is devastatingly sad. But also hopeful:
"Patience thins out like a sleeve
And prisms clang in chandeliers in houses built on top of hills
And I'm too proud to lift my hand and set it down
Down on top of yours as we are staring out"
59. Taylor Swift-"Illicit Affairs" from the album Folklore (2020)
This song for me represents the ideal sound of a Taylor Swift song. When I became a Taylor Swift fan, I always hoped she would go more of the folk route, so an indie folk album--Folklore--was literally a dream come true. I thankfully can't relate to the subject of the song in any way, but this is my favorite segment of Taylor singing, ever:
This song for me represents the ideal sound of a Taylor Swift song. When I became a Taylor Swift fan, I always hoped she would go more of the folk route, so an indie folk album--Folklore--was literally a dream come true. I thankfully can't relate to the subject of the song in any way, but this is my favorite segment of Taylor singing, ever:
"You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else
And you know damn well
For you, I would ruin myself
A million little times"
58. Spoon- "Can I Sit Next to You" from the album Hot Thoughts (2017)
In 2017 my kids were ages 9, 7, and 5 and for Spring Break that year we drove from our home in Germany to Paris. Besides seeing the city, we also took them to Disneyland. When I hear this song I can picture myself, my wife, and my three little ones rocking out and singing to this song in our minivan:
"Can I sit next to you?
Can you sit next to me?
I walk to Memphis alone
'Cause you'd do it for me"
57. Starflyer 59- "Softness, Goodness" from the EP The Last Laurel (2004)
The version of this song you'll hear on the playlist, out of necessity, is from the full-length Talking Voice vs. Singing Voice (2005), but the original version is so much better. The song is mysterious and gloomy, but the original version leans much more into that vibe, and the final version that wound up on the album is too clean and bright. Honestly, if you aren't obsessed with Starflyer you probably won't notice, but it is worth mentioning.
"Death is the middle
Softness, goodness keep in mind
Just to have a watchful eye"
56. Stars-"Changes"from the album The Five Ghosts (2010)
I love the contradiction--both avoiding and embracing change--as the central theme. I relate to that deeply; change is uncomfortable but necessary for growth and experience. The Five Ghosts is the sole Stars album I enjoy in full; while I like songs throughout their long history as a band, in general their albums don't resonate with me.
I love the contradiction--both avoiding and embracing change--as the central theme. I relate to that deeply; change is uncomfortable but necessary for growth and experience. The Five Ghosts is the sole Stars album I enjoy in full; while I like songs throughout their long history as a band, in general their albums don't resonate with me.
"Changes, I've never been good with change
I hate it when it all stays the same
Caught between the cold and the wave
My heart beats up again"
55. mewithoutYou- "O, Porcupine" from the album Brother, Sister (2006)
Every single mewithoutYou song has more lyrical depth than the average full album from any other artist. The lyrics are so dense and profound and I'll spend the rest of my life uncovering new details and understandings.
While I do love the lyrics and meaning found in "O, Porcupine", honestly my passion for this song is mostly about the fact that it is a perfectly constructed post-hardcore song. And because Jeremy Enigk sings on the bridge! I have now been a mewithoutYou fan for 20 years, but it could have been 25. I saw them at Cornerstone 2001 but didn't like the show. My tastes were not as broad, and I am sure I was a little close-minded stylistically. It did take Jeremy Enigk's participation on Brother, Sister for me to listen to their albums in full and then follow them closely ever since.
"O' porcupine perched low in the tree
Your eyes to mine "you'd be well inclined not to mess with me"
And at the garden's edge beneath a speechless sky
As his friends slept, Jesus wept
And it's no wonder why
You wanna be set free? You wanna set me free?
Well that can only come from a union with the One who never dies"
54. Sufjan Stevens- "Chicago" from the album Illinoise (2005)
When I returned from Zambia in summer of 2004 my buddy John introduced me to Sufjan, and probably lent me Seven Swans. He and his wife Erin also lent my wife and I her Mazda Miata for a few months when we didn't own a car. The day we returned the car to them, I handed John an unmarked burned CD--"Illinoise". This was the age of finding mp3s online before albums dropped. This song and album are another family favorite. When my son recently moved to college in Chicago this was one of the last albums we listened to during that roadtrip.
53. Waxahatchee- "8 Ball" from the album Out in the Storm (2017)
My favorite Waxahatchee album is my number one album of 2017, Out in the Storm. To me this is the song that signifies the shift in her career, both musically and lyrically. It is the Americana song in the midst of a bunch of rockers, which is where things were headed. Katie Crutchfield is open about how she gave up alcohol and got sober after this album, and her career exploded after that with 2020's Saint Cloud. In Crutchfield's most recent Substack she shared about how she gave birth to her first child this year and that she is now going through a big creative streak--which has me super-excited about the next album.
"I fell in love again
All things go, all things go
Drove to Chicago
All things know, all things know"
53. Waxahatchee- "8 Ball" from the album Out in the Storm (2017)
My favorite Waxahatchee album is my number one album of 2017, Out in the Storm. To me this is the song that signifies the shift in her career, both musically and lyrically. It is the Americana song in the midst of a bunch of rockers, which is where things were headed. Katie Crutchfield is open about how she gave up alcohol and got sober after this album, and her career exploded after that with 2020's Saint Cloud. In Crutchfield's most recent Substack she shared about how she gave birth to her first child this year and that she is now going through a big creative streak--which has me super-excited about the next album.
"When I fall
I will not be ashamed at all
You'll see a failure
You wanna brand my losing streak
You wanna be the 8 ball"
52. U2- "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" from the album The Joshua Tree (1987)
Spring 1997 was my first collegiate track season. One Saturday we had a meet at Auburn University, I ran in an early event, probably the 5K, and then was done for the day. I decided to look up my friend Jenny, and stopped by her dorm. This began a trend of me dropping by her various apartments in Auburn over the years, and often our conversation was about music (and later we attended a Kevin Clay show together in a coffee shop in Franklin, TN).
The same day I ran on Auburn's track and visited Jenny, I also walked to downtown and went to a record store. At the time I bought exclusively CDs, but I saw a copy of The Joshua Tree on vinyl, and picked it up--my first ever vinyl purchase (I think Jenny and I had been talking about U2 beforehand?). I didn't have any way to listen to my new LP, but I did have a cassette copy of a U2 Live in Chicago show that I would listen to often in my car. I later found out that cassette was dubbed from a more formal bootleg, "Rock's Hottest Ticket, Live in Chicago, April 29, 1987". Because of that live show, I still find it unusual when I listen to the studio version of this song without the screaming fans:
The same day I ran on Auburn's track and visited Jenny, I also walked to downtown and went to a record store. At the time I bought exclusively CDs, but I saw a copy of The Joshua Tree on vinyl, and picked it up--my first ever vinyl purchase (I think Jenny and I had been talking about U2 beforehand?). I didn't have any way to listen to my new LP, but I did have a cassette copy of a U2 Live in Chicago show that I would listen to often in my car. I later found out that cassette was dubbed from a more formal bootleg, "Rock's Hottest Ticket, Live in Chicago, April 29, 1987". Because of that live show, I still find it unusual when I listen to the studio version of this song without the screaming fans:
"I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm lookin' for"
51. Patty Griffin- "Rain" from the album 1000 Kisses (2002)
When Jessie and I were first living at Darlington, a friend who lived in the same house as us, Nicole, introduced us to Patty Griffin. Not only that, she actually gave us two Patty Griffin CDs, including this one (I assume that Nicole had ripped the CDs to iTunes and had them on her iPod, and was an early example of people who purged their physical music collection).
Patty Griffin is one of the best songwriters of our generation; her songs are so vivid. She is best known for songs she wrote for others, like The (Dixie) Chicks. But her solo work is the best, and despite not relating to the heartbreak subject of this song, I find it stunning:
When Jessie and I were first living at Darlington, a friend who lived in the same house as us, Nicole, introduced us to Patty Griffin. Not only that, she actually gave us two Patty Griffin CDs, including this one (I assume that Nicole had ripped the CDs to iTunes and had them on her iPod, and was an early example of people who purged their physical music collection).
Patty Griffin is one of the best songwriters of our generation; her songs are so vivid. She is best known for songs she wrote for others, like The (Dixie) Chicks. But her solo work is the best, and despite not relating to the heartbreak subject of this song, I find it stunning:
"Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
But I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain"
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Whew. 50 songs down. My top 50 songs of all time coming in November...
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Whew. 50 songs down. My top 50 songs of all time coming in November...
